Being A Man: Pillar Talk

“Men aren’t human beings, they are human doings”

 

*Men don’t get sympathy, only more responsibility. If you don’t believe me, who is assumed to die while the women and children escape via the life boats? Who fights the wars? Who does the back-breaking work? Who defends from intruders? And when laws are broken, who enforces the law and catches the perp in order to protect the community? Who protects the protector? And in the contemporary society, who appreciates all that men do?

 

*Your male friends are the only other ones who will empathize with you. There will be women and are women who can champion our rights and protect us when we can’t (GirlWritesWhat, Janet Bloomfield, Dr. Helen Smith) but we know that people of such caliber of either gender to be in limited stock, so thank your stars they exist but don’t hold your breath for them to start growing on trees.

 

*Anti-cop, anti-authority, and anti-patriarchy are branches of male resentment. Its not that men deserve this treatment as that the lack of real men in the households across the world has caused the children to grow up feeling vulnerable and fearful, blaming the father/lack thereof for that feeling. Rightly so: if a man isn’t there, who’s going to offer protection and guidance? Man is like the soil and the riverbed, and without us, the world just spills out into a vague and unregulated spiral. While the cowards among our kind have garnished power and dictated that the strong are scary, they don’t say so many harsh words when things get broken and protection is needed.

 

*I myself deal with this, even from other men. I act as a fall guy because of my solid and stoic demeanor. I “hold frame” in times of trouble and fix other’s problems without fanfare, and without betraying my own. This type of masculine performance makes you a pillar in any community, but it also allows the others to reliably lean their burdens on you without qualm; they even blame you for things that you weren’t around to do. That is the thanks you get for being a man.

 

*Although these are the dynamics with which people will treat you when you reach this level of performance, that doesn’t mean that you have to take it at all. Holding frame and being an authority almost always involves knowing when and where to draw the line and never wavering on it. Your sanity depends not on other’s dependency on you, but on your ability to say no. You may bear the burden of responsibility, but drawing the line attracts animosity and opposition, but it pales in comparison to the amount of respect you earn from other males and the lust you get from women.

 

Regards,

Kimmuriel

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