* Mutual self interest.
You trade what you have to offer in order to get what you want. The 1-2 punch combo; beauty and beast in tandem. Your physical strength (which intimidates) for social power (which charms and lowers defenses). The lack of for the abundance of.
* The hormonal-high that is achieved when a virtue is fulfilled.
When reciprocity occurs, and you get what you paid for and traded for, this transaction is affection. The integrity or fair-trade gives a dopamine boost to the parties involved, but mostly to the giver. The result is desire. Love is the romance of successful business between two parties. When you get into business with someone, it is said that “you’re in bed with” that person.
* A fluid thing.
When the transactions no longer yield results that you value/need, you move elsewhere. Hence why there are so many sexless marriages (for the marriage itself and it’s economic/social provisions are women’s endgame. ) so she no longer has to trade or even show up to the market ready to business; she can get fat, cheat, and do whatever she feels with scant repercussions economically/socially, for any sin or neglect committed by her agency will be seen as a failure on her husband’s competence.
However, the farther a man is away from settling down, i.e a playboy with a harem of harlots, his appeal will signal far and wide for though the traditional institute is trumpeted as virtuous, the laws on the books and the general opinion/economic incentives towards the marriage pact are critical and uninviting to be generous. The lack of stability that a man promises offers him a stable of horses to ride. AF/BB personified: Alpha provides the thrills, and Beta pays the attention and the bills.
To be dramatic I’m not, for the lack of fantasy that is encouraged with the readiness of visual stimulation, lack of sexual prudence, and the ease of communication, love is in it’s death throes. To quote my mentor, Ninon De L’enclos, “love dies of indigestion, not starvation”
Perhaps in our life time we’ll see a return to courtship, but I only foresee this happening when we start dying of thirst.
Love is what the word was,