Flying below radar is what allows you the time and space to think clearly and do what you couldn’t while being observed by the nosy neighbors and “friends” that constantly surround you. Here are a few tactics I’ve honed that open doors, safes, hearts, and mouths.
* If you boast and puff your chest (with bright, flashy clothes, or your mouth), you either get challenged, shunned, or slandered, for crab-bucket mentality is more rampant than ever. In the case of clothing you look odd if that isn’t the norm of the culture you’re working. However, when you confide secrets after a time, do favors when asked, show humor and humility (lowering of the head, listening more than talking, are deferring yet competent) you don’t raise hackles, but you DO raise the quality of companionship just by being admitted. In doing so, more doors open with frequency and alacrity.
* “The world loves a lover” in that you provide more fantasy than reality, with either your charm, your nobility, or your knavery; whatever is a contrast to that reality, you can have the hearts of the people and their better judgment will follow.
Without working on their heart, they are unworkable clay. Play with their heart and they turn to putty in your hands. Throwing in a little salt for a facsimile of sincerity, your sweet words will provide both relief, and in time, poison in their system, rendering their resistance or radar futile.
Information is power, whether it is true or not. As long as they are talking, they aren’t in combat mode. So how do you get them talking? Questions are better after you’ve “confided” something in them; small things first like music and food, increasing in intensity over time. They will reciprocate in time, and even seek you out once you actively listen and goad the bull by remembering little details, showing that they are worth remembering.
* If you need to get access to something but its guarded by other people, maybe the person is the safe, or their knowledge or their assets is what is in the metaphorical “safe”, I like to become a regular there. When something is new, it is treated with the protocol of the unknown: with trepidation and skepticism. When trust and reputation are both earned and known, you can appear in that place without raising to much alarm. This can be for thieves or simply for upstarts who want to climb the social ladder, and need the vouching of said gatekeepers.
To really rev up the engine, try locking in on an area that you are curious about, their sex life or their political beliefs, and putting disbelief in front of them and watch em eat it up like cake. Give the males the “thats crazy, cuz if you…..” and the ladies “are you sure?” and their respective pride and vanity will make them want to prove you wrong.
The mouth that is conditioned to talk wont notice when a secret or a fear has fallen out.
Accordingly, if it is within your discipline, you can pull the honey from the rock using the power of silence through familiarity to blend in, make your company welcome and have the door opened for you instead of metaphorically “breaking in”, win the goodwill of the parties in question, and have ready access to what that particular person has to offer (be it love, connections, or assets).
To the good, to the bad,