Now that Thots are a thing of cultural normalacy due to the attacks on slut-shaming, the sample size for my observations have increased. Accordingly, I bring to you with confidence, and love, my findings on natures public servants.
1. Immune to the Cold. Seen in temperatures 50* and below to wear high heels and mini skirts. Even in the snow.
2. More likely to form “Thot Trains” wherein groups of 3 or more Thots form to hunt for thrills. If under 4 women are together, they are likely just Feminists.
3. Making you wait for a week for sex is the limit to the Thots patience. Any longer than that, then she’s not into you.
4. Thots are given away by the amount of tattoos they have. The position of which determines the level of thottery: the closer to the lower back and inner thighs, the higher her thottery. Piercings also signal the arrival of a thot (usually nose, belly-button, ass, clit, or nipples)
5. More than 5 selfies on social media or vines of herself are markers of a Thot, as well as skirts and dresses with sneakers, for the Thot is an unabashed pragmatist and philanthropist.
6. Big Hoop earrings or a mother who dresses like she’s 26? Thot. Single mother and/or child of a single mother? Thot.
7. Thots are more likely to notice AND tell you that you’ve dropped something due to increased philanthropy and low inhibition.
8. Chokers; floral crown/dog filter and puckered lips in selfies; wears workout gear casually; short hair.
9. Probably cannot cook to save her life, but loves combo meals from fast food places and is extra vulnerable to Thugs and guys who are no good. Large social functions attract Thots like moths to a flame.