When Empathy Strikes Back

“Misery loves company” ~ Christopher Marlowe

* In empathy’s most romantic influence, it makes lovers and friends say “I just want to make you feel how you make me feel” or when you are done a kindness they say “you’d do the same for me” If you’re circulating orgasms and laughter, this can be a lovely cycle to perpetuate.

* Love has always been a give-n-take affair. We rarely notice this amoral and cold aspect since the affect on our own psyche is both enthralling and maddening. Some of the most genius level men are undone, not by their enemies, but by love:

Amber Heard vs. Johnny Depp & Elon Musk

Josephine vs. Napoleon Bonaparte

* Taking the more spiteful and dangerous direction of the same vector “I want to make you feel how you make me feel,” we see that this can easily spell trouble. Lorena Bobbitt is an extreme example. Even more shocking is our complicity and our joy as we follow along with such cases. We rubberneck for tragedies, but we cling to the self-satisfaction of revenge, or when empathy strikes back. Shakespeare’s most famous works had revenge in it, and in the popular TV show “Game of Thrones” there are Cersei Lannister and Littlefinger, who the audience love to hate and salivate at the thought of them “getting their just due”

* Justice is served when empathy is full. Unrequited love is blood-lust. Sometimes it won’t be enough to pay your debt. As long as the feeling is felt in the heart of the unrequited, you’ll have to pay back in interest. If forgive and forget ever needed proof, it would be uttered from the mouth of a lover slighted. They will bring up slights more than Facebook tries to update itself.

* The war generals that advise that you completely destroy your enemies like the embers of a fire were of the same mind as me. The fire can resume if you are careless. Misery loves company. Empathy needs stimulation. To ignore is to insult. Love and it’s requisite empathy often encourages more passion and destruction than war itself.

In parting, take some words from my mentor, Ninon

“It takes a hundred times more skill to make love than to command an army.” 

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